Vacation Prep With Heidi Klum in Whole Foods

In preparation for my upcoming vacation (more later on my childish enthusiasm for paid vacation) I’ve decided to go on a bit of a diet. I know what you’re thinking. “But Janelle, diets are stupid. It’s all about a lifestyle change high raw vegan Whole Foods Peta.” Yeah, well guess what. I feel like going on a diet. OKAY?! I’m not going to look like Heidi Klum (for many reasons but especially because she’s white and 100 feet tall) but I want to feel healthier and less pudgy when I grace the streets of California.

I also know what you’re thinking. “Janelle, you’ve only had a full time job for 5 months. Do you really need a vacation you whiny millennial who doesn’t understand the real world because Twitter smartphones the Facebook.” I understand your loud, passionate protests that a 26 year old who is still a babe to workplace stress would dare to think she deserves to take a paid vacation. Well guess what? I dunno. But ohmigah isn’t it so cool that I’m being paid to take a break from work?! I mean, that is such a foreign concept to me. Not taking a break from work, but being paid to do it. That is so cool. I know I’ll eventually become a jaded 40 year old who talks about how short my vacation felt and gives my boss the finger behind his/her back, but for now, yippee! Paid vacation! I love being an adult! (Don’t quote me on that, I’ll probably change my mind after these next two weeks of overtime.)

Anyway, did I mention I bought a couch? I’ve basically told everyone I ever communicate with and I appreciate all of you who pretended to care. You guys are the best. I got it fairly cheap from Value City Furniture (the back of the store where they keep all the discount, orphaned furniture). The guy who was apparently designated to be my sales person kept walking with me around the store and it made me really uncomfortable. He was really nice, earnest, told me about the best pizza joints in the area (HAHA, good pizza in Ohio, that’s hilarious). But I never know what to do with sales people. Part of me just wants to yell, “Do you work on commission or something?! Please, I need my introvert bubble.” But he was so nice, so instead I did that weird thing I do when I’m uncomfortable where I shift between intense eye contact and staring off at nothing.

Anyway, it was between this (a grey, leather couch) and another leather couch that was very red. I almost went with the red one, being that 2015 has been a year of just do it for me, but I decided while it’s good to step out of your comfort zone, the color red makes me anxious. And I don’t want to be anxious while I sit on the couch binging through Friday Night Lights for the fourth time.

So now I’ve got a couch, a coffee table (which currently doubles as a TV stand and working out nicely thank you very much) a bookcase, dining table and a bed. Now I just need to fill this place with random junk so it can really feel like home.

Sorry this is so long, but one more thing. I’ve been doing this workout challenge and I am sore in every place a muscle exists. I thought I’d built up some leg strength riding my bike so much. Not the case.

G’day.

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