Deflate Gate, The Finale (Hopefully)

Today. Is. The. DAY!

But first let’s talk about how today was (again) almost not the day. Around 7:30 pm yesterday the Good Lord prompted me to text the delivery people, just to make sure that we were on the same page. The lady told me she would put me on her route, but they once again hadn’t called me to confirm a time so I thought let me just make sure these people know how desperate I am to get this mattress. (I slept on a pile of hoodies and my winter coat last night.) So I text them and a few minutes later I get a phone call. This is how it went:

“Hi, is this Janelle? Yeah we… have never heard of you and don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re supposed to deliver a what to a who?”

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah we must’ve never gotten the fax with your information.”

“AM I BEING PUNKED? THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE. It was ACTUALLY at no point humorous.”

“Chill lady. I’ll get you your mattress. Let me just call the store you bought it from and also reevaluate why my place of business still uses fax machines.”

*creative license was taken in the retelling of this conversation.

I tried my best not to sound annoyed, but I think the guy could sense it and he was, to his credit, really nice and helpful. I think the thought of my now entirely dead and sporadically duck taped mattress waiting for me after my shift just put a little edge in my voice. Anyway, the kind gentleman did call me back after calling the store, got my info and said it would be delivered today. Around 3:30. Please God let that be true.

I know you who actually read this blog must be very tired of hearing about my mattress problems, but it is currently the thorn in my side so I must discuss or I will start throwing plates at the wall. And I only have two plates so that wouldn’t really adequately help me deal with my frustrations. My sleep is all wonky and I feel I’ve been living in a state of delirium for a couple weeks now. But God bless the broken road that will lead me to this mattress. After today, I promise to talk about something else in these posts.

Like the huge spider blocking the exit of my back door who, even after several natural and man-made attempts to destroy his dwelling place, keeps rebuilding his house RIGHT in the middle of the doorway. It might be time to utilize the hose feature on my vacuum. I tried being nice Mr. Spider, but you have crossed the line time and again and as the superior species, it is time for me to take action.

G’day.

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