An Ode To My Mother (Sort of?) And Izze Domination

Mom: “I love that you’re not listening right now because we’re probably just going to go home. 1… 2… ”

Kid: “I’m listening now..”

Mom: “Yeah, after I got to two and three quarters.”

This was an exchange I heard while grocery shopping today between an exasperated mother and her child. I’m not a mom so I don’t think I have the right to speak on parenting styles, but when I hear this sort of thing in the store I think about my own parents and how they would deal with kid Janelle in this situation. I know my siblings and I acted like huge brats when we went shopping, even though overall we were pretty well behaved kids. Most of our trips would end with my mom yelling at us in the car and saying, “remind me not to take ya’ll anywhere with me again.” Or “next time I’m leaving you at home” or some variation of “I wish you guys didn’t exist right now.” I LOVE YOU MOM. But seriously we were awful sometimes, whining about wanting stuff we knew we couldn’t have and/or didn’t need. And yet she always took us anyway, because she’s the best mom ever. 

I remember once I so desperately wanted this outfit from some store. I was maybe, 11? 12? And for sure I thought if I couldn’t have it hell fire would consume this God forsaken world. I pitched such a childish fit the entire time we were in the store until my mom finally had enough and angrily bought me what I wanted. I was happy for all of two minutes until I realized how mad my mom was. When we got in the car I demanded she return it because I didn’t want it like this. How she didn’t slap me into my 30th birthday is beyond me. This post wasn’t supposed to be about how beautiful and wonderful and patient and kind and loving and ohmygoodnessImisshersomuch… sorry guys, I just really love my mother.

ANYWAY, the point is, as easy as it is to criticize parents whose kids act the plum fool in public, even with well behaved kids it can be a challenge to be a parent. (Hi, my name is Captain Obvious and I’ll be giving you a tour of No Duh University today.) I was always ready to say stuff like “These white people need to learn to control they’re children” (Sorry white people), but for the first time I kind of just felt sorry for the mom. She sounded so warn down. I’m sure I’ll still make jokes about it when I see some kid literally running the show, dragging the lifeless bodies of their parents behind them, but I really needed something to blog about so just, listen to my musings and tell me I’m thoughtful.

Also, I cleared out the grapefruit Izze’s in Big Lots today. Well, I almost did. The self-control part of my brain still works from time to time. But I did buy ten.



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