Zorp The Surveyor

You guys, Scientology is the greatest piece of science fiction ever invented. I watched Going Clear last night, and just for a second I’m going to put aside how incredibly evil it is to manipulate people’s desire for peace of mind. Really quick I just want to say that even though L. Ron Hubbard was basically sci-fi Hitler, he came up with some really hilarious stuff. Frozen bodies and reptilian takeovers and just every manner of nonsense perceivable.

Anyway, the guy was a monster. Anyone who takes advantage of people’s vulnerabilities for monetary gain or for power are just the worst kind of people. They are murderers of the soul. People who join these religious cults lose so much, and many of them don’t realize it until they’ve put in some serious time, till they’ve exposed their children to it. And there always seems to be some cooky, evil man at the center of it.

I’m sure people who don’t believe in God came away with the satisfaction that their lack of faith in a supreme being is justified. However, as I watched Going Clear, I felt incredibly grateful for my own belief system. It’s simple, and it makes sense to me. I can ask questions without fear of retribution from some psychopath. What I believe challenges me to be a better person, and that’s a pretty good qualifier for something to be a good thing, at least for me.

Anyway, if you’re into documentaries, definitely check it out. You will laugh, I guarantee that. But you’ll also feel really bad for the people who have to live with the shame of ever being affiliated with this strange “church.” Any respect you had for Tom Cruise will dissipate (though that should’ve been gone a long time ago), and you will probably feel sorry for John Travolta.

(Insert clever transition here.) Today I learned a valuable lesson about looking thoroughly over my bills before paying them. Thankfully that lesson was learned before $110 danced its way out of my bank account. They’ll take all your money if you let them.

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