Should I Get A Cat That Tastes Like Salted Caramel?

I’m enjoying this “Salted Caramel” phase that American food is going through right now. It’s delicious, may it never end. May no one ever make a documentary about it, and if they do, may I be one of those people who choose to live in denial about it’s truths, much like SeaWorld has done over Blackfish. If Orca’s tasted like Salted Caramel ice cream, I’m not sure what I would do. Yeah, I know, people are eating Orca’s, they’re just chaining them up in figurative basements and only bringing them out to do tricks for treats, but whatever. You get the joke. I’d be conflicted because this whole paragraph has been about my loyalty to anything that tastes like Salted Caramel. (See? Even treating it like a proper noun.)

Anyway, I slept till one today. I woke up earlier than usual, so I had to make myself go back to sleep and boy when I did, it was like falling into a coma. I haven’t slept that hard since I moved here. I think my body is finally accepting my new life. Nearly three weeks later, but hey, better late than never. And just so you know, I work evenings, so my sleeping till one is perfectly acceptable. Cast your judgement elsewhere.

I use coconut oil for my hair (I majored in transitional sentences in college, can you tell?) and I’m wondering if it’s one of those things that is too good to be true. I mean, people rave about coconut oil, like just being around it will eradicate all that ails you and your children and your children’s children. Granted, it does make my hair soft… I think. Or is that some kind of psychological placebo affect? Did I get too much sleep today?

I should probably get ready for work. Last night, I think I aged myself about fifteen years from the stress of trying to make a deadline. I’m still learning how to be speedy and efficient at this new job and trying not to be too hard on myself when I’m not a whiz at it. You know, college really prepares you for how to get a job, but they say nothing about what to do when you actually get it. There should really be some kind of course about how to go from excelling in college to actually using the things you learned in a professional setting. And how to undo the learned behavior of having to seek the approval of a superior before feeling like you executed a task correctly. Adapting to a professional life when you’ve only ever been a student is a strange new world, and I would’ve liked to learn more about that than how many craters are on the moon or the proper way to stretch my hamstrings.

Anyway. Learning how to be a real grownup is a fun challenge. Hey, do you guys think paying $25 extra a month for a cat is worth it? I need an apartment companion. I know no one is actually going to get this far or tell me what they think but there you have it. A question.


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