Life lessons from Disney Princesses.
Ariel: Parent’s are all talk. Hot air, smoke and mirrors. You’re best bet in terms of defying them is to just run away from home. Make them miss you, then they’ll see things you’re way. Also, sing super good. If that doesn’t work, pretend you think a fork is a comb–it’s endearing.
Cinderella: Indentured servitude will lead you to greatness. Mice are harmless. Let people walk all over you long enough and a beautiful, rich man will rescue you from it all. Also, having dainty feet is a plus.
Aurora: Sleep. Sleep a lot–win at life.
Belle: I have nothing sarcastic to say here. Belle was awesome. End of story. (Except what if the beast hadn’t turned into a man? She really just lucked out there. That could’ve been a really weird story otherwise.)
Jasmine: Being rich sucks and rules are dumb. If someone lies to you enough, it just means they’re intimidated by your overall awesomeness and can’t think of any other way to impress you. Also, pet tigers, am I right? Way cool.
Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana: Win, win, win.
Despite the fact that some of these princesses were definitely fantastic and didn’t have “damsel in distress” syndrome, all of them ended up with a guy. Which leads to the idea that no matter your path in life, there is a handsome man waiting for you atop his trusty steed. Except for Pocahontas.. since she chose her family over blondie. Even though, she kinda found a new man in the second movie, but we won’t count that since that film was obviously a mistake.