Z For Zombie

I just watched World War Z and I am not ready for a zombie apocalypse. 

There’s too much running involved. While zombie’s don’t run so much as stagger at a frighteningly quick pace, my fastest sprint is a light jog for the average person. So even if I had the determination to survive, I would be the first to go due to my labored pace. In fact, I would get so sick of running from stumbling half dead people, I’d just turn around, stick my arms out and say “take me.” Because being bit by a zombie can’t be as painful as out-of-breath chest pain. 

Brad Pitt had this deer in the headlights look about him the whole movie, even though apparently he was the best of the best in whatever he was doing before he became average joe family man. He seemed to be winging it the whole time, even telling this girl that he didn’t actually know for sure if cutting off her hand after she got bit by a zombie would stop her from becoming one. But you know what? He could run. He spent half the time guessing and crossing his fingers and flashing his pretty blue eyes with “gee golly mister” enthusiasm, but he could run and look behind him and then run some more, and that is a talent I have yet to, and may never, master.

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