Would You Like Lies With That?

Fast food jobs basically beg you to lie to them.

“Why do you want to work at Taco Bell?”

BS answer: “I’ve always felt like a leader. Even on the playground, I was the one who cleaned out the sandbox and posted hours for all the kids to sign up for a time slot. When I was in high school, I was in every club. I’ve always fit into a leadership role and so naturally, I want to expand that role by being in charge of food service.” 

Real answer: “Because I have no money and I’m running out of options. It’s either this, or join the military. At least here, my death will be slow and tasty.” 

“What do you think it takes to be a McDonalds employee?” 

BS answer: “Dedication, perseverance, working well under pressure. I just believe that in order to be responsible for the rising obesity rate in America, one must dig deep and find one’s soul. Heart, really, makes a good McDonald’s employee. Heart and patriotism.” 

Real answer: “If you enjoy the sweet, sweet smell of desperation in the morning, then McDonald’s is definitely where you should be. Also, you need to have at least one hand and functioning organs.”

I get that these jobs fill a need. Sometimes, it’s all a person can get, and there’s no shame in that. The shame comes when the company acts as if they are some kind of stepping stone to the American dream. A pit stop, maybe, but c’mon. Don’t make me lie. Don’t make me say my first words were “Would you like fries with that?” 

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